Thoughts: 1

I see everyday the same at this point. I see the world as the same everyday. Love. It must be my only fuel left keeping me going. Insanity causes the flashback that only crush me down. I’m confused. Not mentally, but emotionally. I feel failure. I feel it when I look at myself in the mirror. I feel selfishness. I feel hate. I feel the feel of numbness. I feel I’ve took her whole life away. I feel I’ve brought a life that wasn’t ready. Failure. It rings. Am I a good person or just some fool trying to do the right thing but only failing. Reminded everyday I look in the mirror. What life I haven’t had, I want them to have. To provide the happiness they deserve. But failure waits as it always does. Disappointment, it will show for my actions. I know I’m intelligent, but I act as if I know nothing. I act like the clumsy failure I fear I am. I know I am broken. Un-fixable by the worlds hate and rejection. Destroyed eternally for being hated for being white. But I forgive and attempt to patch the wound of hate. I know she loves me, as well as I love her, but I feel I’ve stole her life. I can’t give back time. I enjoy making others happy. Whether I give or do, I love to see others smile, but I’m so use to pain and isolation. That’s the only life I’ve lived by. Have I once again failed? Failure. Corrupt. In the attempt to be happy I feel I’ve only took ones happiness. What kind of person am I? If I am a person at all? A creature a just a monster like the rest? I only want what’s best. I only want to succeed and bring others up around me. No one left behind, or was I left behind? I’m happy, but I’m confused on whether I deserve to be happy. Love is my only fuel. The only thing that motivates me. The only thing I have left.  

Reblog if you would care if i killed myself.

I don’t know you, but I love you and I would care. I promise, It’ll get better.

6,582 notes


Then I slowly feel the wind blow. Nothing but silence. The End. The warmth, The want, The longing is now over. Goodnight.

Then I slowly feel the wind blow. Nothing but silence. The End. The warmth, The want, The longing is now over. Goodnight.

505 notes